Many things start to unfold as I hold the map by the ends.

Many things that I did not know about before this.

Many things that I had fervently wished it was all in my imagination.

Many things that I, as a 14 year old girl, could never understand.

Why was things so complicated? Why was everything falling apart one by one, like broken pieces of a jigsaw puzzle?

As I looked at the map, the map which lead to my heart, I begin to understand myself better, as I lead the way for new and better things that were bound to happen in the future. Life may be full of downs, but if you look at the fine creases that surfaced when the map unfolded, you would have seen the experience, the happiness, the joy which took place between all of those downs. Maybe, just maybe, everything might be back to normal as I begin to realise that life is not as difficult as I had expected to be.

As I write this entry, I finally realise that the world is something I will never understand. I will never understand the violence, the quarrels, the bloodshed, or the tempers. But what my heart will always understand is the kindness, the laughter, the smiles, the hugs, the kisses. Suddenly, my heart opens up to people, to close family, to close friends and I start to wonder - what did I do to earn all of these wonderful things that has happened so far? What did I do in my past life to have such great family, cousins, friends?

That, I'm afraid I'll never know.

As I've been to places, from China to Malaysia, I realised the warmth of a family. At the same time, I realised to coldness between them, the animosity which was bound to happen, one way or another.

In China, upon visiting my relatives, I didn't even know what were their names. How they looked like, how they behaved. But as I got to know them better, as we got closer and closer, I felt the warmth of a family I've never felt before. [Okay, maybe my parents and brother, but this is a first for relatives. Serious!] I'm proud to say we still keep in touch and send emails and smses to each other even though we have a [sort of] language barrier [they don't understand much english, so I speak to them in chinese] and skype each other when we're online! This is also the first time I've actually called a relative 大哥 and 二哥！:)

I love you guys <3 And I'm really looking forward to seeing you guys in Singapore next June! ^^ As promised, I will take you guys to the Zoo :D So, watch out! xo

In Malaysia, on the other hand, they made me feel how a family can fight and quarrel over the tiniest things, no matter how tight they are. Everytime I get reminded at how brothers and sisters fight over nothing, I find myself... at a loss for words. I really hope this doesn't happen to my brother and I as we're really close, and I don't want to be estranged with him because of some crazily stupid reason. I really don't.

But, as I looked closer, I could also see how everyone was having fun, how everyone just enjoyed each other's company as we bonded over dinner or lunch. Teasing, playing pranks, and making fun of each other was like a daily routine. As we playfully punched, kicked and 'strangled' each other, I could feel that familiar warmth again. Exactly the same warmth when I was in China. :)

So, I encourage everybody to take that first step into knowing your relatives and remember that everyone has a playful side! It's just that sometimes it takes longer than usual to find it :) Because once you know them, and feel that warmth, you'll realise...everything you've done, even just simple actions like putting your hand on his shoulder, or going up to him to say hello, was worthwhile. Because of those small, little actions, you've made another friend to laugh with you, to lend you a shoulder when you're crying, to make you smile and forget all those things which troubled you initially. To just be there.

I love all of you.

I will never forget you.

Peace <3
Debbi.
[emo blog post for once, huh? XD]